We live in our own perception of reality, where our level of knowledge is the real constraint on what we can see. 

This is the kind of knowledge that makes us understand the sun, moon and stars are not really in the sky, but very far away, that roads don’t taper off to a fine point on the horizon, and what we think we see is not necessarily what’s actually there.

We run on assumptions, because we’d be hard pressed to make decisions otherwise, in an environment that asks them of us relentlessly fast. 

We build mental models, shortcuts, categories and safe zones, in order to function, but that’s all they are, models, interpretations of our perception of reality, not accurate descriptions of reality itself.

Nothing is impossible. Nothing is absolute.

When our perception changes, reality follows suit, rushing to catch up with the new perspective, and then we have to accept things we’d have thought absurd only moments before. 

We are, in the deepest sense of the word, reshaping our world.

Outcomes are not fixed in place. We live a dynamic range of possibilities which shift without notice and require effort to maintain.

In this world where the merest change in thinking can completely overhaul one’s life, the only currencies we have are focus and will.

Of course, we’re social creatures, and need approval, love and support to thrive, so we all unconsciously trade off some of the latter in order to gain acceptance. 

We all yield to currents of opinion and social norms and accept the current scientific views as valid, with various degrees of pliability, according to our temperaments.

Soon, this social scaffolding of common opinions becomes more important than the construction it supports, which is our mind. 

We become too agreeable, allowing society to direct us to its common denominator, so we can ride its mainstream views to our graves, or too unyielding in our beliefs and we make it our life’s purpose to impose them on others at any cost.

In the fast flow of ideas that defines our age, we are constantly dragged, both intellectually and emotionally, by strong currents – the points of view of people we admire or despise – and end up paddling in place just to maintain our position, exhausting ourselves.

We forget the most important truth: our lives are personal experiences, and all we have are those experiences.

Any choice, even a bad one, is superior to submissive quiescence. There is no progress in endlessly replicating thought processes that have already run their course.

Any assertion of will is challenged by default, because society has a strong inertial drag on ideas that clash with the status quo. 

Whether that means revolutionizing propulsion or changing your hairstyle, it’s irrelevant: all new ideas are unconsciously evaluated for their threat potential and rejected.

A plethora of assumptions and defensiveness emerges instinctively to preempt your dissent, and your wish for a hairstyle change becomes a recalcitrant idea and one you can’t be allowed to entertain.

That’s why intentions yield the opposite result in the beginning (one can’t affirm this with absolute certainty, because there is no such thing, but it works reliably enough). 

Will is empowered by use, like training a muscle, and will be reduced to the strength of a wet rag if left idle too long.

You make an impossible wish from your heart, one that does not track in reality, and because we’re all conditioned regarding what is and is not acceptable to aspire to, we sigh and soon forget it.

That wish never goes away. It sinks below the threshold of consciousness and continues to exist in your choices, thoughts, and social interactions. It slips out of your mind and into the world, a surprising echo of your retired mental process.

We don’t stay the same as we grow old, and neither does our focus. We evolve a constantly shifting perspective through time.

The outcomes are often surprising, because the results of our wishes and desires rarely look in the world like they did in our head, but they stay within the range of the original intent.

For good or ill, focus draws one nearer to one’s vision, and that is as true for negative results as it is for positive ones.

People don’t think of negative emotions as free will, they consider them externally imposed and impossible to overcome.

While social pressures and dissenting opinions help to shape negative expectations, fear and doubt are, in fact, expressions of one’s own will, and sadly, they are powerful.

In conclusion, what are the points worth remembering?

1. Intent will always be challenged by the ingrained societal instinct to keep things from changing. Persevere.
2. The will which is not exercised loses its strength.
3. Will is a personal tool, not to be imposed on or be wielded by others. No slaves, no masters.
4. Just because you rationally let go of a wish, that doesn’t mean its pursuit became an abandoned track. It may be out of sight, but it’s still active and your reality will reflect it in surprising ways.
5. Being able to change your mind often in response to changes in your perspective is an expression of will.
6. Intent is imprecise, because reality rarely matches our mental model of it. Don’t aim for a specific outcome, but for an acceptable range.
7. Fear and doubt are also expressions of will, and they are powerful.